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[SPN Fic Rec]: "Closer to Heaven and Closer to You" by epiphanyx7

TITLE: Closer to Heaven and Closer to You (fic on AO3)
AUTHOR: epiphanyx7
AUTHOR'S LJ NAME: [info]epiphanyx7, author's AO3
FANDOM: Supernatural
PAIRING: Sam/Castiel
OTHER PAIRINGS: Dean + Castiel friendship
GENRES: slash, first time, slow burn, Christmas
WARNINGS: m/m, language
CONTAINS: emotional tension *kissing, chocolate and coffee, making Cas smile, matchmaker!Dean, Christmas presents, mistletoe, drunk!Sam*
RATING: R (for language)
TIME FRAME: published 2009, spoilers up to and including 5x10 Abandon All Hope
WORDS: approx 11,123
SUMMARY: Castiel is an angel. And angels don't have emotions. (Given by the author.)
NOTES: Sam's POV.

Excerpt:
After that it stops being this weird thing. It doesn't really make sense, but Sam's willing to just roll with it. Considering all the fucked-up shit that he's gone through in his life, considering what a disturbingly dark place he'd been to - Dean fucking dying, going to hell, the whole mess with Ruby and his blood-drinking habit, not to mention how he'd gone fucked up homicidal and killed people on his way to release Lucifer from his prison -- this is probably about the smallest thing that Sam could ever possibly do. It won't even count as a good deed when it comes to the great cosmic order, he's corrupting an Angel for Christ's sake, but ---

It makes him feel better about himself, that he can give small moments of almost-happiness to someone who probably doesn't even know what happiness is. And Castiel, for all his age-old wisdom and his grim determination to save Dean No Matter The Cost, he’s still pretty much a fucking infant when it comes to little things like being happy.

And yeah, it's totally messed up on like a hundred different levels that Cas thinks happiness is whatever makes Dean happy. But Sam's going to show him different, he's going to let Cas be happy for himself. Just a little bit. Because the world is ending and it's their fault -

(all of them, not just Sam, because as much as he remembers that he broke the last seal he can still see Dean's face when Dean remembers that he broke the first. And Castiel, Cas was there for the whole fucking thing, beginning to end, and there's something like guilt in his stubborn attachment to Dean, as if they can all make this shit better together through the power of fucking love. They can't, because they aren't freaking Care Bears, but his faith is often reassuring)

- and Sam has Dean, and Dean has Sam, and Cas' family - well, his family wants to kill him.

When it really comes down to it, a couple mouthfuls of chocolate aren’t going to do much.

But it does make Cas almost smile.

WHY I LIKE THAT FIC:
After watching season 7 of SPN I was craving Sassy fics like whoa. So I went to ask Google for some Sam/Castiel fanfic recs and it pointed me to a request on spnstoryfinders. Closer to Heaven and Closer to You was the first fic that got reced, so I read it. And I instantly fell in love with Sam's voice! It is soooo very IC and vivid and all kinds of brilliant!

In this story Sam goes from kind of hating Castiel to becoming more and more intrigued by him (and his rare facial expressions), to falling in love (which he doesn't notice at first). It's such an adorably nice journey following Sam, Dean and Castiel hitting the road in the Impala with Dean in the driver's seat, Sam riding shotgun and Castiel in the middle of the back seat, stopping for gas, doing research in random motel rooms. I love all the characterizations here. They are so perfect, so broken, so purely them. I loved how adorable Sam and Castiel's relationship progressed. There are many great scenes and one-liners in this. A true gem you shouldn't miss! Go read asap!

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