June 2021



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[MCU Fic Rec]: "pitch black; pale blue" by freakymcgoo

Fanfic: pitch black; pale blue
Author: freakymcgoo
FANDOM: MCU, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
PAIRING: Sam/Bucky
GENRES: M/M, Pre-Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Alternative Take on the Selling Scene in Episode s01e03 Power Broker
WARNINGS: *mentions of past rape/non-con, interrupted sexual assault, non-con touching *
CONTAINS: *panic attacks, anxiety, emotionally hurt Bucky, caring Sam, protective Sam, canon-typical violence, trauma*
RATING: Teen And Up Audiences
TIME FRAME: TFATWS Episode s01e03 Power Broker
WORDS: approx 4459
SUMMARY (given by the author): Sam desperately wants to shove the idea back under and forget it existed; the swell of rage and fear tailgating the realization that Bucky is the merchandise, and all the underlying reasons why that even makes sense. He wants to cling to the last shreds of his denial, hold his momma’s hand like a scared little kid again, because in no world should that make sense.
Before the deal at the bar begins, Selby requires a demonstration from the Winter Soldier. Sam doesn't take it well.

Most bar goers kept away from who they believed was the Winter Soldier, but this stranger only seems to get closer. From what Sam can tell, it’s not out of some administrative obligation, but rather because he wants to. He’s dangerously cognizant of the fact that nobody in the room has the power to hogtie his urges; not even an infamously brutal HYDRA assassin.

Sam’s uneasiness doubles. He flicks his eyes over to Bucky, wondering if he’s as perturbed by this man as he is.

To most, it looks like nothing. Like he’s feeling nothing; an absence. But there’s always something deeper—something shadowy that shifts in Bucky’s pupils. It’s so overwhelming that Sam feels like if he comes close enough, he’ll be swallowed up and drown in it. He gains a fierce urge to rip out the roots of that haunted look; grip Bucky’s warm shoulder until he comes back to his senses.

The most Sam can do now is test the waters himself, keeping his voice as flat as possible. “Who are you?”

“Call me an interested customer,” the man replies cryptically. “Selby sent me to evaluate the merchandise.”

Sam starts to re-evaluate the advantages of being brushed off like some low-grade crony. For one, the man doesn’t even seem to notice the stark confusion that crosses his face. What the hell? What merchandise?

After watching that scene in Selby’s room where Zemo sells Bucky and all the implications that brought up I really wanted to read Sam’s point of view. This fic is about that and it’s stunning! It diverges a bit from canon as they don’t go immediately to Selby. In this Selby requires a test of the merchandise’s compliance beforehand.

This fic really takes us on a hard and painful ride. Sam’s emotions are so vivid, it’s as if you are right there with him and Bucky feeling helpless and angry and useless. The characterizations are excellent and to the pint, and the writing style is beautiful. The author is so gifted at using metaphors at the right moment. I‘m actually in awe! This fic will put you through an emotional roller coaster. It will make you feel lots of things and leave you reeling. Prepare! It’s going to be a great and intense ride!

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